my obituary

when your lost so am i, when your not around i feel empty, when you dont call or text i get scared, and when your sad ill always be there. when i wake up your who i think of and when im about too sleep your the one i call. ive written lyrics and notes about you, and when you say or think i lie i tell you whats true. i know we cant always be there for eachother and i know were not perfect, but when im around you i have no defect, i love how my bed always smells of you, and when i hear your voice my grey skies turn blue. when we hold hands it feels like were all that god has planned, and when we kiss that moment forever is my only wish. your my life my heart and soul, without you i turn cold, i feel numb, crazed, scattered and dazed. so when your gone this will be my obituary, lay me to rest. but remember i loved you and you became my cause of death.

i love you Natasha Dawn Jones.

Jokes

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?v=app_2347471856&ref=profile&id=770150022

i love you, not for who are but for how you make me feel, now your the only one too make me feel like this. like a piece of shit

me

when you walk through the park.
when you see that one guy.
he sits alone, yeah thats me.

blank

blank=my head. i seriously have nothin to say.my mind is going in a million different directions and i comprehend one molecule of thought long enough too actually understand or appreciate whats going on. i got the best and worst news of my life today, my girlfriends being a psycho for no reason, i wasnt allowed in my house lastnight, the list goes on... but seriously my mind drawing a blank. i dont know what to think or where to start. i need a new saviour, all the angels i know put concrete in my veins, i have basically seized all my emotions. yeah i love you but you questioned it today, us today, and i dont know . it felt like at that second that i was putting myself into that position again. thats not a good spot to be. then the whole late thing, fuck, you said i was joking about it. all of it, that i didnt care and i have nothing on the line. i have you, and you told me to walk away today, that your specifically trying to piss me off enough to walk away.well as long i have you i have something to lose, and when the only that i am actually losing is lost then what? and yeah i am losing you, remember it doesnt feel the same. as for that question,^ then what? well after i lose you like i seem to do with all people. ill go postal for a day or too then binge eat and alcoholism is a must.but at the end of it all ill tear my body down. i wont eat but ill do stupid amounts of exercise and exhaust my self so i can barely function. then ill rebuild myself, andmonths after all this youll stumble across me with another one similiar to you and the others and ill smile cuz when im at my lowest form at that first building block ill adapt and change, see one wanted this and another that, soon ill be a perfect guy, with aspects from numerous girls. then youll notice that just like us me adn her arent happy, i dotn have her aspect yet. see i cant comprehend just one thought. and so what iff yor late or if this has never happened to you befor, its life new things happen. you learn thats what the point is. you just learned what FACICOUS (sarcastic) means. so your life is still being lived. but i think ive ranted enough. i jsut want you to stop this. you freak out over nothing. all the time its not needed. jsut talk to me and trust me. thats all that needs to be done. i love you.

the movement.

im making a community movement for everyone. we only have one planet and were all in this together. i want emails of your short (10 - 20 seconds) video. anything from you writing be unique on your hand to your 1 sentence explanation of what it means to be human. i want this to inspire and unite. so if your serious comment and youll get my email.

N.D.J

i love, adore, appreciate, and miss you

Arriving at one point is the the starting point to another

So I came to a conclusion. When a person is confronted with what they want they abuse it. They expect it too always be there they promise it things and when its there nothing happens no changes and promises are forgotten. Well I confronted you on hopes that what you said would become reality and so far youve degressed in progress, I was actually happier before than I am now. So I dont know what to tell you, youve changed your mind and I can see that so I guess I might as well change mine too. Us again isnt working you said it yourself. If you really want this or want me youd be making an effort, but you dont seem to grasp that you just think I'm going to wait around on you like I have done before well I'm not going too. I'm not your puppet anymore I'm not going to let you boss me around when you dont listen to my requests. I wont sit at home while your out with your friends. I'm sick of a one way effort, of you doing nothing and getting everything. So this is it, this is the only time I'm telling you and if it doesnt change immediately then I'm breaking my promise too you. You just arrived at another starting point, will you finish what you started? Or will you just keep running the track your already on? Good luck.

special someone

i cant believe how happy she makes me. its fucking incredible how one person can give you what you need and you can do the same for them. its been a really long time since ive been this happy, like i cant seem to stop fuckin smiling. oh my fucking god i love that girl with everything i have. entirely. fuck i just dont know what to do with myself im so jittery and shit. fuck i love life right now.

We’ll get in the car and drive for a while
Buy some skittles and cigarettes, hold hands and smile
We’ll count the yellow lines that pass
Drive ‘til sunrise and have a blast

I wanna be laughed at, laughed with
Just because, and with you thats always enough
I’m stuck in this stupid rut
Waiting for you to pick me up

I’m falling
I’m falling for you
I’m falling for you

We’ll lay in the glow of my headlights
And when we open our bloodshot eyes
And stare into that fluorescent white
We’ll kiss awhile then drive for a night

We’ll crank the music and sing too it
You could dance, and we’d laugh about it
We’ll forget all our frustrations
Of when we didn’t meet our expectations
I’m falling
I’m falling for you
I’m falling for you

I’m falling ( falling )
I’m falling for you ( for you )
I’m falling for you ( for you )
I’m falling
I’m falling for you

uh what

uh what... NO FRIKKIN WAY!!! im single

in her world

i need fixing...
my heart...
it isnt ticking...
our last words...
are all that are sticking...
goodbye...
so long...
how did we...
go wrong...

ya im alot of things...
user, drug abuser...
loser, drunk, sinner...
in my world...
im a winner...

together...
we were better...
we promised....
eachother....
to last...
forever....
then no smiles...
just lies...
and denial...

ya im alot of things...
user, drug abuser...
loser, drunk, sinner...
in my world...
im a fucking winner...

the girl...
too sad to give a fuck...
the clash of love...
left us all dumbstruck...
us bad actors...
with bad habits...
those sad singers...
who just play tragic...

ya im alot of things...
lover, saviour...
sanctuary, punchingbag...
artist, sculptor, writer...
in her world...
im a fucking blister...

good times.

lastnight although not excited about it I went to the kodiaks game with tash and her friends. the nwe went back to her house to drink, little did i know her ex boyfriend was gonna be coming out. for being liquored up, I was actually pretty calm. I bit my tongue until it was hamburger but i still didnt shit kick the guy. I had a good time, enjoyed the company except for two or three who wouldnt shut up or just shouldnt have shown up. looking forward too it again.


Congratulations me.

Inspiration

In the end, inspiration is everything- Jared Taylor.
Inspiration is what drives a person. We need it to be able to survive, to invent, to progress as a species. Inspiration is really just an idea, it's true you'll read or see something and you say hey I can do it. So you were given the idea. So whats gonna happen when these idea's run out? when everyhings been read or seen. What new inventions will take place in our future? How will our generations too come grow? Man kind was a burgeon. and because of it there will be no more inspiration. Mine for example, Alexander Supertramp(Christopher Johnson McCandless). for those who dont know, Into The Wild is about him. He made it two years with no money, no car , he had books and made friends. He died on his adventure in Alaska. He was a college graduate and threw it all away because people are shells. He's right, we don't think or react until it's too late. Green Technology for example, if people made that in the 50's or even thought of it. Our planet wouldnt be in this state.We look out for only ourselves, and we will step on anyone to get where we need to be. Who or What "Inspired" us to do this, to act like barbarians? Greed can only take us so far, and it'll take us in the wrong direction. but greed is a another post for another day. Until next time, Jared Taylor

oh a burgeon by definition is: something that grows rapidly.

Natasha Dawn Jones

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you. i love you. i dont understand why your walking away. or how you think im going to break you. i cant, i care way too much. but your not going to read this and maybe thats for the better. i cant stop you i just want you happy and if you believe that itll happen without me then goodbye. but if theres a doubt. even just the slightest bit then dont stay here with me. we can push through this. i know we can because id do anything for you. you mean everything to me, your my life. i cant be without you, ill just be a shell. so can we stop this, we dont need to fight over people who mean nothing. I LOVE YOU. your blue eyes, your brown hair, your smile laugh little habits like how you bite your nails during an intense part of one tree hill. how you hafta know where i am and doing at all times. how your concerned. you push me too quit smoking. to not drive as fast. how you love that i worry about you that you know im always going to come no matter where you are. no matter wat time it is. i love how yoour phone background is us. and how it never changes. how you hold only one finger like a little kid. how you color at osheas i just love everything about you.

How do i feel? youve asked time and time again well here it is.
When you order that large strawberry milk shake.... or rolo mcflurry. or when you get your first bike for christmas. how face just lights up because you cant wait. I get butterflies when someone mentions you, when im coming to see you, when kiss when cuddle or hold hands. im so happy to have you in my life. i love how you always want too talk to me. because i always want too talk too you. when im around my friends your what i talk about. your always on my mind. when i fall asleep i wish i was with you and when i wake up i wish you were there. How do i feel... I LOVE YOU. thats how i feel. all the time.

commitment

Yesterday, it was a rough day... Natasha was sick and i decided to tend too her. from doing her laundry to making her a steak sandwhich. Why? because im committed. Yes its true im crazy about Josalyne but Natasha, well Natasha makes me feel whole. Everything she does, its love... from her compulsive having to know what im doing at all times (which is really cute) to how we both have blue eyes, how our music interests clash... and so does our fashion. She just seems to be my life partner, along with Megan Fox and Jessica Alba. =). I just love her and cant stand it when we fight which pretty much all we do, I often have mixed feelings about it, but when i go to sleep shes the last person I think about and when I wake up shes the first person I think about. I love her . When I first saw her standing there with blue eyes and long brown hair. I tried to picture her underwear, I hoped she'd be the one, and now i know she is.


<3

employment # 2

so today i got my unemployment insurance letter. im approved so i guess i get too sit around and get paid... AWESOME!!! thats all i really have too share right now. oh yea, its totally awesome.

love

love. a four letter word. tattooed on my body. its a park. it fucks with peoples heads.

tonight. apparently my current/ex girlfriend believes shes sharing me. yes im a liar a degenerate and an asshole but im not a player. apperently i asked out my ex three times today. now im no expert but if she said no the first time, which clearly she must of why would i do it again. and when she said no the second time which clearly happened why would i try again. i wouldnt. i wouldnt do it once. shes my ex so why should we try again months later. now im pissy so goodnight world.

employment #1

I have hand delivered seventy two resumes to companies up to two hours away. seventy two. I have not recieved a single phone call, email, anything in regards to any position I have applied for. I am starting to get really pissed off about this. Even Walmart didn't call me back. Seriously, I am not retarded I'm a high school graduate and i have a drivers license.WHAT THE FUCK!!! Am I just setting my sights too high, maybe I'm supposed to prostitute or something, maybe sell pot. At any rate I need a job, i need money.

friendship

So, tonight my girlfriend and I had another fight, now usually I really wouldnt care... but tonight I wanted to talk to someone. I always talk to one person. Josalyne. She has recently moved to England, and I no longer have someone to joke around with or to just talk to about anything. That depressed me quite a bit. Long story short I told my girlfriend that I love Jos more than her, more than i could ever feel for her. It's kind of fucked up because we're best friends. shes a thousand miles away and I have no way to tell her how I feel.